It is just funny that I can feel like this. Somehow, even if I thought I am doing what's right it backfires on to me. So I don't know what is wrong or right anymore. What should I have done? Destroy your life more than I already have? Or maybe just ignore you like how you ignore me? I don't know what happened between us, and that's what bugs me the most. Like how I don't know what is happening to you, neither do you know what is happening to me. I don't mind being insulted being with you, heck I would nod along. But the pain comes along when I know you are actually ignoring me when they do that. It gives me such pain to know that they are reminding me of you. Didn't know that, did you?

And ALL the PROMISES I did was truth. I always did love you, and probably still will. I know that I would never have the chance with you again. The fourth time is a unlikely one. Knowing that, I wonder why the heck I fucked up your life. You could have better, yet you chose me of all idiots. I feel like an asshole. But the truth still stands, though I couldn't give you stuff, I still truly did love you.

I knew I couldn't last long if this keeps up. I asked you if you still did love me, and I got an answer I didn't expect. And your ex began to interfere, and I hated that. You wouldn't know about that. It hurts to know such things. I had such a headache the day I took a love away from you. I never wanted it to happen, but it did, and it hurts me too. Somehow, killing myself is something I would never consider, cause of all the effect it will do to all those close to me. So frankly, I don't know what to do anymore. Leaving you is the hardest thing, yet I know you would laugh at me. Heh, who knew you were really the one who took my heart...